Beth: ‘the courage to be my authentic self’
Beth getting ready for Pride, wearing glitter face paint and a rainbow striped tshirt.
FOR ME, Open Table has been like the good soil in a parable of the sower - I’ve not just found community, I’ve found somewhere I have been able to grow both in my faith and as a person.
My early experience of church wasn’t easy – throughout my childhood I went with my family and our church to an evangelical Christian festival with. The festival leaders told me that God loves me but I had to align myself with what they thought was God’s ideal way to live, which didn’t include being LGBTQIA+.
I became very enthusiastic, and fully believed in this ideal for a few years. Despite this, I began to question everything I’d been taught. I stopped going to church after someone I knew in church leadership did something hypocritical.
I found Open Table years later when I was struggling with my mental health. I’d had a very traumatic experience with an abusive housemate, and, in the aftermath, I found myself exploring faith again.
Since finding Open Table, my faith has become so much deeper and richer. I am not here because I fear an ‘angry god’ like I was when I was younger. I am here because, through Christ, who loves me as I am, I have the courage to be my authentic self. And not just because of the way God works though me, but because of the way God work through other people.
I have found somewhere I would always be welcome - I do not have to hold back or hide any part of who I am, whether it be my neurodivergence or my queerness. The support I have had from Open Table over the last couple of years has been invaluable, from individuals and from belonging in a community.
About a year after I started coming to Open Table, I lost several relatives in quick succession. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, but I was not completely choked or withered by it. Though it felt like my entire world had ended, because I had found good soil in an Open Table community, I was able to move forward and continue to grow in my faith.