Matt: 'My comfort place, where I feel very safe'
Matt (right) with his wife Danielle & Bobby the dog. PHOTO: Mark Loudon
I was brought up as a Jehovah’s Witness since the day I was born. I found the religion tough and strict. Some of the rules I was not happy about.
One rule was we were never allowed to like the same sex. This is my experience of coming out as bisexual.
I first found out I was bisexual when I turned 22. I knew I was bisexual because I had an encounter with a male but I also liked females. I felt like this was bad because of my upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness. They taught me to believe that being gay and bisexual was bad, and was a sin to God; and that those who are gay or bisexual should be punished.
When I told my dad (who is still part of that religion), he disowned me and kicked me out. This made me feel small and low to a point where I thought everyone was against me because of the feelings I have towards the same sex.
For a while I felt ashamed of myself because I had the feeling that I had let my family and friends down. It also felt like my dad didn’t understand the meaning of gay and bisexual or of being who I wanted to be. I felt low and down and I had thoughts racing through my head. When I told my dad I was bisexual he told me I had 2 weeks to get my stuff sorted and to look for another property.
At the time I was in a relationship with Danielle, and she kindly said to me I could move in. Within two days I moved away from my dad’s. I knew if I had stayed any longer there would be trouble. When I moved out, he put an injunction on me that if I came 500 feet towards his property I would be arrested. This to me was an eye-opener because it showed that the person who was once a loving father is now a father that doesn’t accept a bisexual son. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I wanted to be alone but meeting Danielle, who now is my wife, has shown me that it’s ok to be gay or bisexual, and that it isn’t a sin, and not to be scared -because God will love me no matter what.
It wasn’t until I looked up churches that would accept my sexual orientation that I came across Open Table. At first I was a bit shy and a bit scared because I didn’t know how they would react to me, due to my past experiences. But once I started to talk to people, it made me come out of my shell and I now don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to be bisexual.
Open Table has given me my life back, to be able to fulfill my dreams and to accomplish my goals in life. Meeting people from different backgrounds has made me feel part of a huge family, full of love, care and hopefulness. The people that attend the church are lovely and they accept you for who you are and they don’t judge. I thank all the people in Open Table for helping me get back on my feet and gain control of my life that nearly slipped through my fingers.
Without the love and support from the people at Open Table, and my new family, I wouldn’t be standing here today. Open Table is definitely my comfort place, and a place where I feel very safe.